


To Become Whole

by Superwholock88



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Asexuality Spectrum, Child Neglect, College, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Full Shift Werewolves, Gen, Healing, Multi, Pack Family, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Recovery, Self-Worth Issues, Spark Stiles Stilinski, Trauma, Werewolf Lydia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-05 00:36:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12783075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superwholock88/pseuds/Superwholock88
Summary: So this was originally going to be an angsty one-shot for me to get out my emotions on page but then plot bunnies took over and said "What if you wrote a healing fic for all the characters and now I have these long drawn out plots in my head. So basics. They're at college except Derek who's basically just the big brother of the pack its kinda AU in that I'm pretending only the first two seasons happened plus of course my plot. It's basically just the pack as family healing from the traumas of their pasts, and Lydia's a werewolf because I say so. Oh and everyone's asexual on some level because I've never seen it done so why not try it.





	To Become Whole

**Author's Note:**

> So this chapter deals with a more subtle type of abuse and one I didn't even realize I dealt with until this past year. So Lydia is basically me and I'm not sure if I've really gotten it across just right but if you've been there you'll understand. It's like knowing what it means to have someone fold laundry at you. Weird sentence I know but it means something to those who've experienced it. I really would love comments, even if it's just to say how crappy this is, I do better with feedback.

Lydia's POV  
“Are you mad at me” I ask looking up from my studies as Allison sets the groceries down with a resounding thunk. “I could have gone with you if you needed.” I add. Allison gives me a confused look.   
“I’m not mad, just frustrated” she says.   
“Oh I’m sorry” I immediately tell her.   
“No, not at you. The grocery store was packed and then the cashier was super snooty. Why did you think I was mad at you.” Allison questions.   
“You set the groceries down harder than normal” I admit.   
“Oh well yeah I get that but why would it be directed at you?” She continues to pry. I shrug and look back to my paper.   
“It just usually means someone is” I tell her feeling a bit unsure as to why she doesn’t know that.   
“Ok, if you say so. Sorry you thought it was aimed at you.” She apologizes. I smile.   
“It's ok, no biggie” I wave it off.   
“So how's that paper coming” Ally says easily changing the subject.   
“Fairly well actually, I'm at the point of just making revisions to the final product” I explain.   
“Sweet, that means I don’t have to drag you to Derek's tonight for pack night. Erica will be meeting us there, her and Boyd are on a date” She says laughing at my evil glare.   
“You wouldn’t dare” I challenge.   
“Oh but I would. Derek threatened to move pack night here when you missed out 2 times in a row. And uh I don’t want all of them here, we uh tend to leave things laying around” she says dangling a bra on her finger.   
“Yeah no that would be horrible.” I admit and she turns to start cooking dinner to take with us as I finish my paper.   
We arrive at Derek’s and are descended upon by ravenous werewolves.   
“Food” Scott shouts  
“What'd ya bring” Stiles pipes up.   
“Yay no take out tonight.” Erica holler striking a pose. Boyd smirks and helps us unpack in the kitchen while Derek looks on shaking his head.   
“Hey where's Isaac” I ask glancing around.   
“He’s out with a friend from school, should be here soon.” Derek explains fondly. The front door opens as said werewolf comes lurking in.  
“Hey Isaac” I say offering a hug that’s quickly taken up on.   
“Is food here yet I’m starving” he says and I roll my eyes but guide him to the kitchen where Boyd and Erica are systematically dishing out plates. Once we get settled in around the couch Derek turns on the tv.   
“So what movie tonight” he asks.   
“How about The Chronicles of Narnia” Isaac suggests softly.   
“Yes definitely. I love that movie almost as much as the book” I declare.   
“Really, it doesn’t seem your usual style” Erica says.  
“Well it was totally my getaway when I was younger. I actually had a legit wardrobe and I'd hide in there when my parents got too loud with their fighting. I’d listen to music to drown out the dishes breaking and pretend I was in Narnia” I explained happily.   
“Oh, I didn’t know you had to deal with stuff like that” Isaac says softly.   
“No, no it wasn’t like that. They didn’t hit each other they just broke stuff and called each other names.” I hurry to add afraid I’ve upset or triggered him in some way. Everyone is quiet for a long minute.   
“Lydia just because it wasn’t fists, doesn’t mean it wasn’t violence” Derek finally says.   
“What, no! That’s just normal stuff.” I sputter out, now feeling very unsure.   
“No, it’s really not and it’s ok that you don’t see that” Derek continues.   
“But they didn’t hit each other” I repeat weakly. No one seems to know what to say to that. Derek sighs and I feel guilt pool in my stomach.   
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make things so heavy” I apologize.   
“It’s ok, Lydia. You didn’t do anything wrong” Derek adds and runs a hand over my hair.   
“Let’s just watch the movie and move on, yeah” I suggest and everyone agrees. I only half watch the movie too busy inwardly at war with myself.   
I end up falling asleep on Stiles shoulder during the next movie and only slightly wake when a blanket is placed over me. 

Two days later  
“Oh my God, I didn’t mean to just give it up would ya” Erica says her voice raised.   
“I never said you meant to, just was trying to remind you of it” I spat back feeling frustrated.   
“I’m too angry for this conversation right now” Erica says and turns to walk away.   
“Oh yeah, way to be a five year old and just walk away on me” I say tears stinging my eyes. Erica shakes her head but doesn’t speak as she walks to her room. A few tears escape as I wonder how it escalated so much and how I was possibly going to repair the relationship. ‘She must hate me now.’ I think. I clean the kitchen with tears rolling the whole time. I take a shower after to calm down and lay on my bed reading until I hear a soft knock.   
“Come in” I answer and Allison walks in and sits on my bed.   
“I guess you've heard” I surmise. She nods.   
“Is Erica going to move out” I ask softly, my heart aching at the question. Allison huffs a laugh.   
“It was just an argument, nothing like that is going to break the friendship.” She says.   
“But she walked away” I explain wondering if Allison knows how it went down.   
“She needed some space to cool down” She says her eyebrows raised.   
“Can I ask you a question” she continues. I nod.   
“When you got into disagreements with your parents, didn’t you ever just take a break, separate yourself from them for a bit?” She questions.   
“Uh yeah no. That would be extremely disrespectful and besides it wasn’t allowed. If I tried one or both of them would corner me against a wall until I was calm and reasonable” I explain and am instantly confused by the look of horror on Allison's face.   
“That is so not ok. That's like telling your kid they have no rights, what were you not allowed to disagree with them, say no once and a while” She says exasperated.   
“I didn't tell adults no, that's disrespectful and rude” I tell her my eyes wide at the though of ever telling my parents no to something. I’m startled as she hugs me tightly.   
“No Lydia, it’s not. That’s a very dangerous thing to tell a child. I don’t mean to be harsh but that made it easier for your cousin” she tells me.   
“That's different” I say firmly. She sighs.  
“ Look if you had those girls you babysit with you right now would you tell them that they couldn’t say no” She asks sitting back beside me.   
“No , they have the right to voice their opinions with me.” I say heatedly. I’m a bit protective of those girls. Allison gives me a knowing look.   
“So if that’s not ok for them then how was it ok for you” She asks and that hits me hard because I have no argument but I try anyway.   
“It’s not like they hit me if I said no” I say ignoring her question.   
“That’s not the only form of abuse, Lyds” She says softly.  
“My parents didn't abuse me” I say confidently.   
“I don’t think they meant to but yeah they did.” She says not unkindly. She takes my hand and squeezes it gently.   
“Whoa, what happened to your hands” she asks seeing the rash on them.   
“Oh I used those SOS scrubbies when I was cleaning.” I say not seeing the big deal.   
“Are you allergic to them, we can buy other stuff to clean with if you are” She tells me.   
“No it’s ok I’m only a little allergic. I don’t like have trouble breathing or anything, just a rash. I can handle that, I’m not that dramatic” I say worried about causing trouble.   
“It is not ok. A rash is a rash that means you are allergic and therefore should not use said product, there is nothing dramatic about that.” Allison says worriedly.   
“I mean I cleaned all the time with them at home. I told my mom that it gave me a rash so I must be allergic. She told me to stop being dramatic because it wasn’t that bad” I admit.   
“How many times did you hear that phrase” she questions softly.   
“What being dramatic, a lot, I was super wimpy and whiny as a kid” I tell her. She shakes her head.  
“Actually I meant ‘it wasn’t that bad’ but that ones not great either” she tells me.   
“Oh I heard that a lot. Especially with my weak ankles, I’d sprain them all the time and eventually I stopped telling my parents and wrapping them myself because I hated being called dramatic.” I admit.   
“Look I know you won’t just see it immediately but I think may be together we can work through these issues, help you come to terms with how rough your childhood actually was” Allison says. I shrug but don’t disagree.   
3 months later  
I’m sitting in the urgent care waiting room with Allison and Erica after they dragged me here because I nearly passed out walking to class.   
“I’m not sick, it isn't possible” I tell them again.   
“All evidence to the contrary” Erica snarks  
“We'll see what the doctor says.” Allison says.  
“Lydia Martin” the nurse calls. Erica stays in the waiting room but Allison insists on going with me.   
“What seems to be the problem, Ms. Martin” the doctor asks sitting on the spinny chair.   
“I think it’s just a bad cold but she made me come here” I say pointing an accusing finger at Allison. The doctor smirks slightly.   
“Well what are your symptoms?” he asks.   
“My throat is sore, ears are all stuffy and it kinda hurts to take a deep breath” I tell him. He takes my temperature and tells me its 104 before checking my throat, ears and listening to me breathe.   
“I believe you have strep throat my dear. I see some signs of you having had it in the past untreated. The test for strep is not a lot of fun I'm afraid.” He says. Turns out to be a long swab to the back of my throat. Definitely not fun.   
“So Ms. Martin you have a bit of a high pain tolerance, huh” the doctor says when he returns.   
“Uh no. I'm a but of a wimp really “ I contradict.   
“That’s something I just don’t believe considering that you have strep throat, double ear infections and bronchitis. I’m giving you a round of antibiotics and suggesting you take a week off.” He says and I nod. Once back out in the car I speak up.   
“What the hell, I thought werewolves didn’t get sick.”   
“I text Stiles and Derek while waiting. Derek said it’s not impossible just rare and Stiles says and I quote ‘Its because she doesn’t damn well take good care of herself’ and said he'd meet us at the apartment. I groan. He’s so going to gripe me out for this. I fall asleep on the way back and startle when Erica places a hand on my arm.   
“Let's go, your prince awaits” she says and helps me to the door. Stiles is waiting on the couch.   
“So genius why am I sick” I ask. He rolls his eyes.   
“I told Erica, it’s because you don’t take care of yourself. You're taking a full load of hard classes plus babysitting and being available to everyone in the pack. Even a werewolf immune system can be worn down. You have to start putting yourself first sometimes.” He lectures, hands on his hips the entire time. I look down upset for having disappointed him. I feel him move closer and raise my chin gently.   
“I’m not upset with you, Lyds. I just want you to be healthy” he says softly.   
“I just take care of people. I can’t just put me in front of them, that's selfish” I try to explain.   
“No honey it isn’t. If you only took care of you and ignored everyone else that would be selfish but basic self-care is not. You’re important too you know” Stiles says running his hand through my hair. Allison and Erica have left the room to give us privacy.   
“I know I’m important” I mumble.   
“Do you though? You always put others first and that’s a great quality but there’s a point when that becomes detrimental. You are just as important as each of us.” He promises. You disagree but don’t voice it.  
“Come on lets get you settled into bed. I made you some soup.” Stiles tells me and guides me to my room. It’s not until he starts to lay down with me that I stop him.  
“You can't lay beside me, you'll get sick” I sputter and push him away. He sighs.   
“Yeah you're probably right. I’ll go get you your soup though.” He says and kisses my forehead. He sits across the room with me until I fall asleep. I don't wake up until 11am the next day.   
“What the hell” I croak and hurry to get dressed since I’ve already missed one class. I nearly fall over twice and have to catch my breath after putting my shoes on but am finally ready. I’m to the door before I hear a throat clear and nearly jump out of my skin.   
“Jesus” I exclaim, hand to my chest.   
“Nope just Derek” said man supplies with a smirk. I roll my eyes.   
“Where do you think you're going” he asks softly.   
“To class” I say questioningly.   
“Not happening, come sit” Derek directs patting the couch next to him. I sigh but plop down next to him.   
“So what’s this I hear about you being less important than the pack?” he asks throwing an arm over my shoulder and drawing my to him. I sigh.   
“I never said that. At least not directly” I tell him.   
“But you think it don’t you” he says softly. I shrug.   
“Listen, I know you’ve been taught to always put others first. And let me guess attending to your needs is selfish, right?” he asks.   
“Well yeah” I say. He runs a hand through my hair.   
“Ok let me ask you this way. Let’s put Allison in your place, doing exactly what you have been doing, would it be selfish of her to take time for herself.   
“No, of course not. She's import-“ I cut myself off when Derek growls lowly.   
“You are important too. In fact here look at me” he begins. I turn to him.   
“Now say I Lydia Martin am important” he continues. I shake my head.   
“I, no. I can't” I say frantically.   
“Yes you can. I’m not asking you to believe it, just say it, please” I take a deep breath and exhale.   
“I, Lydia Martin am important” I say before promptly bursting into tears. Derek gently gathers me into his arms rubbing my back soothingly. Once I’m able to ger myself together I pull away wiping my eyes.   
“Sorry” I say embarrassed at having lost it.   
“Nope not allowed to be sorry. In fact I’m sorry I didn't see this before now. But I do now and we'll work on it, starting with you staying home from classes for one week. You can obviously do your homework to keep up but you will be staying here and getting rest.” Derek says.   
“But I can’t just, you can't I mean I need” I start while Derek looks on amused. I finally give up trying to find an argument and lean back against the sofa with a huff.   
Derek quietly puts on The Princess Bride and pulls me to him. I fall asleep on his shoulder after Inigo and Westley's sword fight. When I wake up Derek is in the kitchen cooking and I’m laying on Isaac who is shifted and asleep with Stiles at my feet. I may not completely believe my pack about my importance but I have to admit it’s nice to be taken care of once in a while.


End file.
